Taylor Lin (
sharktoothtotem) wrote2021-06-03 05:14 pm
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(For Dean)
Taylor sat in a chair across from him sketching in her journal. A little of the charcoal from the stick she was using had smudged her cheek from when she had tucked a lock of hair out of her face. She was in short running shorts, and a cropped tee, over which she had a thin hoodie that looked like it was made of blue mesh, her backpack was on the floor under her chair, more out of habit than anything.
"So, you really hunt monsters don't you?" She had been mulling it over for a while. "What is that like?"
"So, you really hunt monsters don't you?" She had been mulling it over for a while. "What is that like?"
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"It's... a lot of things." He could spin her some line, but with the way tonight has gone and how open she's been, he decides he owes her more than that. "It's hard. Brutal. Bloody." He huffs a little chuckle, eyes dropping away from her for a minute. "...Fun. I've always enjoyed it a little too much, probably. Honestly, I've been in this life so long I wouldn't know what to do with a normal one. At this point, all I'm hoping is to go down in a blaze of glory and that I get some goddamned rest."
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She's silent listening to him. "I don't even think I can begin to understand how that is. I mean at least what I hunt, for the most part, doesn't hunt you back." She looked at the bracer on her arm. "I take it nightmares?" She honestly wanted to know more about him. If anything he was more interesting than half the guys she usually met on digs, and she could see small scars, he was as used to action, if not more than she was. "Would that really be the way to go out though? Though I know some hunters on my world, that would prefer to go out finding their "Atlantis" and never making it back to civilization."
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"Not like you would think." It had been too many years since he had had nightmares about what lurked in the dark, and even then it had been about them taking or killing Sam or Dad. Mom nightmares were common, too, in the younger years. He'd had the nightmares about himself during his wait for hell, and since then... those nightmares and invaded the snatches of sleep he got. Skirting the truth with just enough to satisfy her it is. "Not so much myself. My family being killed... my mom... never really about myself. Just, losing everyone, you know? Ending up alone... or worse."
Not even a hesitation as he answers the last question, though. "Yeah. If I can go out doing some good? It'll make it all worth it, you know?"
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She's silent as she sketches. "I think that's the main reason I try to stay away from most people. Like, at college, I was that freak in the back of the class working on her doctorate papers while the professor was droning on about the basics of archeology." She shook her head. "Most of it I kinda learned unconventionally." She glanced up. "Figured the more I got lost in work less I'd need to deal with the other students my age, who were there because they all wanted to be Indiana Jones."
"I don't know. I mean, if I had more than my small group of hunters, I'd like to let them know that I was okay with how my end came."
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"And hey, at least you saw it through. Could have just left early with a GED and a bad attitude." He shrugs out of his flannel, getting himself a little more comfortable in his tee and jeans. "Unconventional is generally the better way to learn things. A lot to be said for trials by fire, you know?"
He just shrugs in response. He doesn't really have a way to verbalise what's going on with his head with this part of the conversation, so he just tries to let it drop.
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"My uncle and Grandfather insisted. When they found out how close I was they told the rest of our group to have no contact until closer to graduation. Other than Lara, I'm the only one who went to school after high school."
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"Still doesn't count as sitting still though. That'd be like me saying I'm on stakeout and then sitting with my back turned the whole time."
"College is good, I'll have to agree with them on that one. As much as the adventure highs are awesome, you should also still remember how to appreciate normal." He meets her eyes, and he's being entirely honest about that. There's still a bit of him that wishes that Sam had been able to do the normal thing he so desperately wanted to do way back when. The thing he had fought so hard to keep hold of until Dean had come barging into his life because he was lonely and didn't know how to cope. "Balances out the crazy."
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"Just, with all the paperwork done, sucks to have to play the intern until they say I'm good enough to go solo. All because I need that damn paper." She sighed. "And normal is over rated, I may be too used to the crazy."
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Oh god, you sound like him before his world went to shit. "Yep, I used to think the same. Been in crazy since I was four years old, didn't know anything else. Didn't want anything else. Life was determined to show me I as wrong, and I guess it kinda did, to be fair." He meets her eyes, all serious. "Normal is fleeting, crazy is forever. Trust me when I say you should make the most of it."
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"I know a little of the other side. I mean, the guy that raised me wanted me to try to fit into high society so I had to play normal. Dresses and high heels are torture devices. You can't convince me otherwise." She watches him, her gauze had been serious as well. "I'll stick with embracing the crazy, from what I've learned so far, has pretty much let me know that I really don't care for the people playing normal. Too many white fences, rules and lies to tell to keep up the appearance. Of course may just be high society like that."
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